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NOTES:

CHRISTIAN CATEGORY: SPRING 2008 - HIGHLY COMMENDED

This story text appears exactly as sent in by the writer. No changes or corrections have been made; however, all stories to be included in the published Anthology will be edited for grammar and punctuation before printing.

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"Caught"

by Heidi Springston - Parker, CO, USA

HIGHLY COMMENDED: "CHRISTIAN" CATEGORY, SPRING 2008

They buried my husband today.  My little boy too.  I didn’t even cry.  I thought about crying, and even was a little embarrassed that I didn’t.  People I didn’t know were wailing as the funeral procession passed through the streets.  I saw women whispering about me.  They shook their heads at me.  I don’t know why I noticed them.  Perhaps by looking around me, it was easier not to look ahead.  Because when I did, I wanted to rip my eyes out.  My husband, my son—lying dead.  The fever had won the cursed battle over them.

*********************

My mother came by this morning.  I can still hear her piercing words in my head.

“Rebekah, how do you think you look to people?  Staying locked up in this house for weeks, useless.  I didn’t go to such extremes after your father died.  No, I knew I still had responsibilities, and I knew that I needed to marry again.”

I was silent.  Marry again?  After losing Joshua?  He had been everything to me.  I will never marry again, I thought.  Let them throw me out.  Let me rot in the streets.  I don’t care.

Mother went on.  “It’s been five weeks since Joshua and little James died.  It’s over.  Pick yourself up and show the community you can still live.”

Why do you keep talking, Mother?  Why?

*********************

Walking the streets of the village, going to the market, all the meaningless, menial tasks that seem to fill a day.

Wake at dawn.  Walk to the well to get water.  Back to the small house to knead dough and bake bread.

My brother says he won’t support me forever.  He’s chosen someone for me to marry.

“Do you know of the scribe named Joab?”

“No,” I lied, though I knew perfectly well who he was.  Old, arrogant, spewing the words of God as venom.  I couldn’t think of anyone in our community more in love with hearing his own voice.

“For whatever reason, he’s chosen you to marry.  The wedding will be in two weeks.”

I sat with my back to my brother, staring out the window.  There was a little sparrow outside on the ground with a bloody wing.  It kept trying to fly, but couldn’t.  Kept trying and trying, but couldn’t get off the ground.

“Rebekah, did you hear me?” His voice was agitated.

“I heard.”

My brother leaned around my chair, his hot breath on my face.  “You might try showing a little gratitude.  I found someone who’ll provide for you.  Don’t forget that, sister.”

The door slammed.  The sparrow outside sat motionless in the mud, too exhausted to try anymore.

*********************

When his hands touch me, I want to scrape off my skin.  I cannot call this man “husband.”  Joshua was a man.  Joshua was my husband.

Oh Joshua, I want to be where you are.

**********************

Quiet, now.  Quiet my thoughts.  Oh God, forgive me for these thoughts.

I didn’t think anything of the encounter at first.  A simple glance across the crowded market, a glimmer of recognition in his eyes—a man smiled at me.  It was casual, as if to say, “Oh, there you are!”  But I didn’t recognize the man.  Not at first.

When he approached me, I got nervous.  Even through these three months of marriage to Joab, the women in the village still whisper and judge me.  I don’t gather in their poison little flocks, so all they can do is spread lies about me.  A strange man approaching me in broad daylight is fresh kindling on their fire of gossip.  I know that my brother’s wife Dinah saw.  I know she saw.

The man got closer and I cast down my eyes, pretending not to see him but to be busy with my purchases.

“Rebekah?” he said with a smile in his voice.  I think I dropped whatever I was holding, because he laughed.  “Didn’t mean to startle you!  How are you?”

I ventured to look up into the face.  I searched myself for recognition.  There!  I’m sure a small smile stole across my face, because in that moment I was truly glad.

“Nathan!  What are you doing in Jerusalem?”  A childhood friend, more like a brother, Nathan had left the city with his family over a decade ago.

He stared at me, grinning, and gave me a harmless touch on the arm.  “I’m here for the feast—I come almost every year, actually.  I always think of you when I’m here, and always hope I’ll run into you.  I’m very glad to see you.”

Something about his kind smile caused a stir within me.  As soon as it emerged, I tried to suppress it, and gazed back down at the table in front of me.

“My aunt told me about your marriage a few years ago.  I’m very happy for you.  Have you any children?”

I swallowed hard.  What sweet tenderness.

“No, no children.”  I gathered my things and looked at him again.  “It was wonderful to see you.  Perhaps we’ll see each other again while you’re in the city.”

With that, I hurried away, seeing Dinah’s glare from across the market.  She’d been watching the whole time.

God, forgive me for these thoughts.  Because all I can think is how my heart came alive at a few kind words, a simple touch.  All I can think is how much Nathan reminds me of Joshua.

**********************

The sharp sting of his hand across my face isn’t the worst part.  I can take physical pain.  It’s the sound of his accusations that grate on my ears.  I just want to shut my ears!

“Dinah says she saw you talking to a man in the market, Rebekah!  Who was he?  Your lover?”  Joab seems to think he is frightening to me.  He has no idea how I mock him.

“No, Joab.  He is a childhood friend, nothing more.”

Another time his hand falls hard upon my face.  Harder this time.  How I hate him.  I hate you!  Do you not know it?  I hate you!

“Lying whore.  I know your kind.  I know you.  You’ll look for any opportunity to betray.  Is that why you never spend your time with other women?  So you can have time in your adulteries?”

He clenches my wrists, his putrid mouth whispering in my ear.  “Maybe I should remind you that you are my wife.  Would you like that?  A little lesson?”

And in the dark of the vile night with this man, the last light of hope dies within me.

**********************

Nathan.  He was in the market again today, looking for me.  A kind old man named Benjamin who I buy from told me.

“There was a man here, said he was a friend of yours, Rebekah.  He was looking for you.”

My heart leapt within me.  Nathan.  I knew it was him.  “What did he say?”

“Well, he told me you were an old friend, and wondered if I could tell him where you and your husband lived.”

My face must’ve gone white, because Benjamin leaned close to me.  “Don’t worry, my dear.  I know what your husband is like.  I didn’t tell your friend where to find you.”

“Thank God for you, Benjamin,” I sighed.

“Somehow he found out about you—about Joshua and James.”

I stopped breathing.  “What?  How?”

“I don’t know.  He just said, ‘Poor sweet Rebekah.  Losing her husband and her child.  Why do some people suffer so?’”

I shook my head as tears pooled in the corners of my eyes.   Benjamin put a wrinkled hand on top of mine.

“I know you’ve had your share of troubles.  But God is faithful.  He will save you out of your afflictions.”  The old man leaned close to me.  “Be very careful in this Rebekah.”

I looked at him, aware of what his warning meant.  I nodded as if I agreed, then left him there.  I left, with every intention to find a man who is not my husband.

**********************

When Nathan told me where he was staying, I stored the information up as I would store a useless tunic.  It was there, but I didn’t plan on taking it out to use again.

That was until tonight.  Until I could not take it anymore.

I was serving Joab his evening meal.  I hadn’t eaten all day, and the smell of the stew I’d made caused my stomach to cramp with hunger.  As he was eating, I dipped my own spoon in the pot.

He slammed his spoon on the table.  “Haven’t I told you that your time to eat is after I’ve finished?  You, my wife, serve me, not your own appetite.”

I’m not sure if it was a physical reflex or a conscious decision that caused it, but upon hearing his arrogant words, some part of me did it.  Suddenly the scalding stew was no longer in the pot, but hurled at the face of my “husband.”  As he cried out in pain at the burns, my heart hardened, twisted, then smiled.

He lunged for me, with every intention to kill me, of that I’m sure.  Lucky for me, the stew was still burning in his eyes, and I managed to escape him.  I fled, knowing exactly where I was going, and with Joab screaming curses into the night.

**********************

It’s wrong, it’s wrong!  I say it to myself, but it’s not enough to stop me.

Nathan opened the door to me when I knocked.  He let me in, and held me as I sobbed and told him what had happened.  No one else was in the house.

I cried.  He held me.  He bent his head down to whisper comforts in my ear.  I lifted my head, suddenly telling myself I was in the arms of Joshua.

And though it’s wrong, I give myself up to it.

**********************

Caught.

Followed.  I must’ve been followed.

The door flew open as I lay in Nathan’s arms.  Light flooded the dim room and dread fell hard upon me.

I heard Joab’s voice.  “A childhood friend, Rebekah?”  He swept quickly across the room, pulled me from the bed where I wore only my undergarments.

I felt a kick land hard in my abdomen—I thought I might lose consciousness or vomit, but neither occurred.  I stayed down, praying.

He pulled me up by my hair and spewed the words, “I should kill you now.”

“Think, Joab,” I heard a voice say.  I looked up to the doorframe to where another man stood.  It was my brother.  “As a scribe of the Temple, you can’t take the Law upon yourself.  You know what her punishment must be.  We will take her now.”

My brother’s voice was cool.  I wasn’t surprised.  He’d never shown me much compassion.  I waited for Nathan to intercede on my behalf.

But when I raised my head, I saw him standing in the corner, silent.  My brother and Joab approached him.  Nathan backed away.

“You had better leave Jerusalem, old friend.  Before my sister causes you any more trouble.”

Coldness crept into Nathan’s eyes as well.  He looked down.  “Yes, yes take her.  I wish she wouldn’t have come here.”

Joab smiled at me.  I felt the first pang of fear as the reality washed over me.  I was about to die and no one was going to save me.

Betrayed.

**********************

I feel strangely at peace as they clasp my arms and drag me through the Temple.  Finally, I think.  Finally these months of agony are over.  Joshua, I’m coming to you.

I see the Pharisees surround me as Joab shouts my crime to them.

“She is an adulteress!  She has broken God’s sacred Law!”

A roar of agreement emerges.  “STONE HER!”

I remain silent.  Joab twists my arm and says, “Tell them, my dear.  Tell them of your indiscretions.  Tell them of your sin.”

Strange how pain steals peace so swiftly.

I cry out as my arm feels as though it’s about to come out of its socket.  “I did it!”     “Did what?” he breathes heavy on my face.

I see the accusing eyes, so filled with hatred for me.  God’s people, I scoff.  They don’t even know me.  Fear and sadness fill me---fear of the pain I know is imminent, and sadness that my life is so easily disposed of.

I swallow as tears begin to drench my face.  I think how strange it is that I cry now, instead of at any point since my husband and son died.  Why am I crying?  It adds humiliation to the spectacle.

“I committed adultery.”

The religious leaders murmur among themselves.  I see one of them put a hand on Joab’s arm and speak into his ear.  Joab says something back, and the two nod in agreement.

Joab grabs my arm again, taking me through God’s Temple with some unholy intent.

**********************

I am thrown hard into the dirt in the Temple square before a man I don’t recognize.  He is dressed simply, not like one of the scribes or Pharisees, and yet a crowd is gathered around him as if he is a teacher of some sort.  The people around him stare at me in disgust.  The man looks at me as if I’m actually alive.

“Teacher,” I hear Joab say, “this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act!”

The mysterious teacher says nothing, but waits for Joab to continue.  Other scribes and Pharisees close in with interest to what the teacher’s reaction will be.  One of Joab’s colleagues speaks.

“In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do you say?”  A ridiculous smirk crosses the scribe’s face, as if he’d just uttered some jewel of brilliance.

I look at this teacher, this simple man.  He looks at me, and I think I see a hint of a smile pass his lips.  He does not look at the man who asked the question.  Instead, he stoops down to my level, putting his finger in the dirt, staring at the ground and writing.  Had he not heard them?

I hear the confounded religious leaders that surround me, whispering, anger rising.  I know what they are thinking.  Who is this man to show them so little respect, to pay them so little heed?  I think, Finally.  Someone who shows them exactly the respect they deserve! The snakes.

The brood of vipers can take it no longer.  They begin shouting the question over and over—“Do we stone her?  Do we stone her?”  The crowd surrounding the gentle teacher looks at him expectantly.

Finally the man straightens to his full height.  Strange.  Though he is no taller than an average man, he commands more respect.  Who is he?

Then his words.  They wrap me with light.

“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”  And he again takes his stooped posture, scribbling in the dirt.

Time stills and I clench dirt in my hands.  What a thing to say!  Bold and unexpected, but somehow perfectly right.  He who is without sin among you…He who is without sin among you… Who can claim to be without sin?  I bid my head raise to see the reactions of all.

Elderly men, first—I see it there.  A change overtakes them, and faces that were twisted in judgment now soften.  Their eyes look away, to a land of distant remembrances.  They slowly leave the crowd.

Women, too, look at the teacher and cast their eyes down.  Are they remembering their sins?  Can a few words cause hearts so much reflection?  The younger onlookers leave, and then even scribes and Pharisees!  My brother shakes his head and turns away, while Joab looks at me with strangely saddened eyes.  Surely his hard heart could not be pierced by those words.  Yet his back is suddenly to me, as I see him shrink away.

Far on the periphery of the crowd, I glimpse Nathan, who must have followed and watched the entire drama play out.  He looks at me, small tears noticeably falling.  He is gone.

They are all gone, and I remain in the dirt.  I hear the Teacher’s words roll over and over again in my head.  He who is without sin…  Oh, God.  I’m not the only one.  The sin so easily takes me…maybe it takes us all.  Who is this man?  This man who with a few words has snatched my life from death?

The Teacher straightens up again.  I find the necessity to follow his lead, and so I stand and face him.

“Woman,” he says kindly, “where are your accusers?  Has no one condemned you?”

I look around me, and let out a small laugh.  Did I just laugh?  Am I smiling?  “No one, Lord.”

This man, a Teacher, a Prophet, one of God, smiles at me.  He says, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

**********************

As I leave the Temple, the house of God, I glance back to where the Teacher still stands.  Many of his followers return to his presence—they couldn’t stay away for long.

He begins speaking to them.  Yet as he does, he looks at me from across the crowd.

“I am the light of the world.  He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

A smile lights my face, absurd though it seems to me in the circumstances of the day.  Everything feels new!  My heart rises and I am lifted to hope.  I don’t know where I’ll go from here.  But one thing I am pierced with:  I will follow this man, this Teacher of God.  And somehow I know that He will light my way.

I’m released.

Copyright (c) 2008 by Heidi Springston - do not reproduce
without the author's written permission!
 

COMMENTS FROM OUR COMMISSIONING EDITOR, Jo Holloway:
A wonderfully written "could have been" story of the woman caught in adultery. Well worded, carefully crafted, with depth and compassion mingled with shock and horror, and finally a beautiful portrayal of Jesus.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Heidi Springston grew up waking each morning to the majestic landscape of the Colorado Rockies.  Writing was a constant companion as she journeyed through childhood, as a cardboard box full of stories and books will prove.  She attended college at Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas and graduated in 2003 with an education degree.  God has given her different assignments in the years since, including teaching middle school Language Arts, doing missionary work in Juárez, Mexico, and teaching writing (among other things) at a Christian high school.  One of her greatest joys is guiding students to express their unique selves through writing.

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